Dear mashed potatoes,

Now don't get me wrong, I love you. A lot. You're extremely tasty, and a lot of the time I will order you as a side item from numerous restaurants. But I cannot survive off of you alone; however, since my painful oral surgery, that is what I have been doing. 

There is only one solution: you must start healing my wounds with your magic potato powers. If you do not engage in the cure very soon, then we most certainly will never speak to each other again once I am able to masticate properly.

Love,

That girl who really just wants to be able to eat the cookies she baked

Dear Oral Surgeon

Bravo! Whomever you are.

I am virtually pain free, and the swelling is barely noticeable. If I had money, I would send you a fruit basket with real fruit. And possibly a cigar.



Love,
That girl who just got her wisdom teeth taken out

Dear Charleston,

I think you may be broken. Tuesday it was 72 degrees outside, Wednesday 68 degrees, and today 69 degrees.

I feel that it is urgent we inform the maintenance crew that it is, in fact, mid-December.

And don't blame it on Global Warming either. My communication professor already informed me about the liberal media elite spinning that web of lies. Ha.

Love,

That girl who is wearing a t-shirt and shorts

Dear Lauren,

Why aren't we these people?

Since I know you're not a linux user, you may not have figured this out. Click on the picture to make it bigger.

Love,

That girl who wishes she was a total genius & knew lots of algorithms

PS. xkcd.com

Dear biological clock,

 It's 8am. I've been up since 7am. I'm not even tired. I could even go run a marathon!

Yet, every morning that I needed to get to class, it was a painstaking process to remove my heavy skeleton from its warm chambers and avoid the oh-so-attractive head bob in lecture, announcing my sleepiness.

Did I do something wrong? Are you mad at me? Should I be paying you more? Please, let me know so we can fix this backwards cycle.

Love,

That girl who just wants some good sleep before finals

Dear Santa,

Things that I need:

1. Pig babies

Do you see this pig baby?

I need this pig baby.

Give me

pig babies.

Love,

That girl who requires the pig babies

You just got served

Click on the picture to make it bigger.

Dear fashion,

I don't really understand how you work most of the time. You waste my time and money. Occasionally, you also make me feel quite obese. Some people say I'm crazy for indulging you.

Yet, I still find you aesthetically pleasing so we can continue our relationship, if you'd like.

Love,

That girl who enjoys being shallow now-and-again

Birds freak me out a little bit

Click on the picture to make it bigger.

Dear Minute Maid,

Your apple juice makes my intestines unhappy in the morning, but there appears to be an ingredient triggering addictive qualities--cocaine, perhaps? I cannot stop imbibing this destruction.

Please, fix your formula promptly and send me a free sample in the mail...on ice, with an apology letter.

Love,

That girl you're slowly poisoning with applely goodness